Complete this survey for your very own self evaluation.
Please answer “yes” or “no” in agreement or disagreement to the following statements.
1) You fall asleep with a book under the covers.
2) You read your books while you are walking.
3) The pages on your books wear down like an old pair of jeans.
4) You name your child after your favorite literary character.
5) You’ve taken the books in the shower with you.
6) You always have a book in the car, and not an audio one, in case you are stuck in traffic.
7) When you were a child, you would rather read Bambi or Snow White than to go to Disneyland.
8) After you read a book, you begin to talk like its characters.
9) Your family members have forgotten what your full facial profile looks like.
10) When you go to church, you slip your favorite book inside of the Bible.
If you said “Yes” to seven or more of these statements, get ready for a new partner!
10 ways to know whether you are a Rabid Dog Owner:
1) You want to raise your leg when you have to urinate.
2) When you see another dog’s poop on the sidewalk,
you want to smell it.
3) You have an urge to be petted behind your ears.
4) Dog food makes you salivate.
5) You want to bark at strangers.
6) You want to stick your head out of the car window
when you are driving.
7) You want to lick yourself when you are wounded.
8) When you’re happy, you want to wag your tail.
9) You want to chase cats.
10) You feel more comfortable on your hands and your
If you said “Yes” to seven or more of the above-
you are a Rabid Dog Owner-BEWARE!
The Mysterious Doggy Bag Heist
I rarely eat out. So, when I do, I splurge. I had a scrumptious dinner. I ate so much of the appetizers and the salad that I was too full to finish my yummy pasta dish. It had all kinds of mushrooms and peppers and capers. So, I got a Doggy Bag. I promptly put it in my refrigerator when I got home.
By lunch the next day, I was salivating in anticipation of my pasta from the night before. I looked in the refrigerator. I moved the Miracle Whip and the milk and eggs. No Doggy Bag. My food was gone. I questioned my husband, “Have you seen my Doggy Bag?” “No, check with your daughters, they probably ate it.” I went up to my daughters with my hands on my hips and my neck slithering like a snake, “Did you two eat my food?” “No, mom, we swear, we didn’t touch it!” they both claimed.
I didn’t get it. Where could my food be? I checked the trash for evidence of the heist. NOTHING. By this time, my stomach was growling so loudly my parrot began to squawk in reply. Maybe it’s in the freezer. Still, no food! Who did it, who stole my Doggy Bag? I stood there, dejected and starving. Finally, I decided to give in and make a peanut butter sandwich. While I was eating my sandwich, looking out the window into my backyard, I saw my Chocolate Labrador, Nelson, busy licking Doggy Bag container clean. My dog had stolen my Doggy Bag! Well, at least somebody had a good lunch.
Peer out with their beady eyes
They have a deceitful walk from side
Swishing down the run-way of life
Boldly building all the hype
Yet looks are not what they appear to be
Desire to love all humanity
Their claws grab for
People who understand
Otherwise, they bury their souls
Deep into the sand
All is all and I am a fan of
The Crab People